Australian Idol - The 4th Judge #2

Source: Telegraph

I reckon Idol's got it tough this year. It has to follow Meerkat Manor. On Meerkat Manor, I get to watch baby meerkats run around and cower from owls. That's pretty hard to beat.

Tonight is rock night. I predict Mutto and Chris will do well, and hopefully Bobby and Ricky will perform well. I also hope little Jessica shines. The rest could die from syphilis, I wouldn't notice.

As a tribute to this show's superior lead-in, I will be grading tonight's performances out of 5 Baby Meerkats:

Show (Rock):


Ricky Muscat
He looks good, I like the T-Shirt. He's very strong on stage, and he's got a really cool voice. He's also showing a good level of versatility. But he should watch his dynamics. He starts at about 8-9 and has little to go. I think he was told that in the semis. He overkills at times. But I really like him and it was a good start to the show. Nice song choice too.
4 out of 5 Baby Meerkats.


Lisa Mitchell
"My style is...um...like...cute and stuff. I dunno. Like, folky and stuff."
Did she miss her entry? It was a very timid first few bars. She has a goofy "this is so embarrassing guys, OMG!" look on her face while singing. So immature. I really don't think this girl is up to this competition. Metamorphasise? Marcia, please, I could be wrong, but that's not a word. Don't start with this crap. God she (Marcia) annoys me. Lisa can't take this criticism, she's acting like a spoiled brat up there. "Well, what can I do?" she asks, defiantly. The answer is nothing. She's really too immature. Its not happening.
2 out of 5 Baby Meerkats.


"Mutto"
Why is he singing another mid-tempo rock ballad? He should've taken this week by the balls. Just because Mark says you're intense and vulnerable doesn't mean you should do that all the time. Oooohhh, he can't make the pitch up high. Yikes that's ugly. Bad stage movement at the end. He's likable. Don't make excuses for him Marcia! I'm really going to be hating Marcia tonight, she's really shitting me more than usual. Did he just "God bless" the audience? I disagree with the judges, not the best song choice, too safe. And I'm not crazy about the vote grabbing.
2 1/2 out of 5 Baby Meerkats.


Klancie Keough
Ahh, my favorite. What kind of a name is "Klancie?" Singing "Keep Your Hands to Yourself." She sounds breathless, shaky, bad eye contact with audience. Isn't breaking her voice strongly enough for me to be convinced it's intentional. And she still looks cheap. I think she will always look cheap. Great song choice. Pity the band sound crap! Mark is right about her not being contemporary enough. I'm really unconvinced with the true quality of her voice. She's picking safe songs for her and only just scraping through vocally. She'll crash and burn. I hope.
2 1/2 out of 5 Baby Meerkats.


Bobby Flynn
Cool! He' a werewolf! Oh, no he's not. Damn, that would be cool. Like this arrangement a lot. Wow, I actually really liked that. I liked that better than last week. He's not hit top for me yet, but I like contestants who are really gutsy arrangers (unlike Mutto who rearranges very predictably).
3 1/2 out of 5 Baby Meerkats.


Reigan Derry
She looks dead inside tonight. Sounds a bit Christian rock. What was that at the end? Damn, that sounded crapola. I feel like an idiot, because I don't know that song. She was a little pitchy, but she looked great. Mark's right, she didn't nail it. And it was a pretty crap song choice.
2 out of 5 Baby Meerkats.


Damian Leith
GREAT SONG CHOICE FOR YOUR VOICE DAMIAN! Why are you slurring into the chorus? You're lucky you're so well suited vocally to this, because you're not performing your best. You didn't need to falsetto that last bit. It's getting tired. Mark's right, he's holding notes for too long. Kyle, why do you feel the need to be the style council, you're a tool.
3 out of 5 Baby Meerkats.


Jessica Mauboy
She's a cutie. A bit of a safe choice, and she's mimicking the sound of Clarkson's voice. She's doing that thing I hate and singing just like the record, showing no musical initiative, aside from the old vocal run. But I still like her, and she nailed that high note, unlike Reigan. In fact she was quite on pitch the whole way. I HATE when Marcia talks jive. GO JAMES! GO ANDY G! Defending that puppy fat. They're puppy fat knights! Jess was good but safe.
3 1/2 out of 5 Baby Meerkats.


Jack Black Chris Murphy
Good song choice. Not liking the left hand out flat like that, though. He's so Jack Black. He should sing "Tribute" one week. Yeah, he's good and all, but IS IT ENOUGH?? We'll see.
3 1/2 out of 5 Baby Meerkats.


Lavnia Williams
She looks hawt. Interesting song choice, too bad I fucking hate Evanescence. She is so much cooler than Emily. I liked that, balls to the wall sound. She did seem to strain a little. But she did it, she got it done. I don't like her "mm hmms" though. So fucking cliche. I reckon she and Marcia could have a whole conversation without using vowels. "Mmmhhmm Dhhrrrlnn."
3 out of 5 Baby Meerkats.


Dean Geyer
Why are they ending with this guy? He's so "meh" musically. Oh that's right, they've been shoving him down our throats BEFORE THE SHOW EVEN STARTED. HE WAS ON THE BLOODY ADS SINGING HIS CRAPPY LITTLE SOFT ROCK. He's practically already won. He looks a bit like James Marsden. PITCHY! He's fucking pitchy. For Christ sake (heh, quite literally), he's almost out of tune. Liked how he pointed to the drummer, though. Mark and I agree again on the pitch. Marcia's a joke.
2 out of 5 Baby Meerkats.


Generally, a weaker night than last week. I would've liked some more ROCK. None of this soft indy stuff of the last 10 years. No one rocked. Not even Chris, he chose rock parody. Ricky's still my favorite. I like Jessica and Bobby's improved in my eyes, I hope he continues too. Still can't warm to the bush trash loser that is Klancie. Dean's an idiot, so's Mutto. Marcia's a tool.

Once more:

Verdict:

I wonder if they will sing another medley tonight. I love those medleys, they're that really embarassing type of entertainment that makes you kinda cry.

This backstage preview is making me really like Bobby and Chris. James Mathison swings for me, sometimes he's ok, sometimes he's really annoying. He screams "scruffy boyfriend of a friend," one you know wont be around for long.

Yay! Guy. The original Christian Virgin (TM) and the best. Dean should bloody watch and fuckin' learn. Even though he's a Christian and, even worse, a virgin, and he verges on the preachy, he's still my favorite ever. I wonder if he's still a virgin?

Group performance is really showing the weakness of the girls. Dean, stop pointing at that goddamn camera. Yep, tears are swelling it's so uncomfortable. What's funnier: Bobby trying to dance, or Lisa trying to sing? Bobby, methinks. But in a good way.

"Oh Lord, give me the strength to not sleep my way to the top."

Source: Australian Idol website.

Reigan's out. That's too bad, she had potential. But she was never going to win it. What is fucked is the final 3: Mutto, Reigan, and RICKY. My favorite, one of the best performances of last night. What a joke. My bottom 3 would've been Dean, Lisa and Klancie. That result scares me a little bit, I hope the voters wake up. They pick favorites early on and are hardly swayed. Yikes. That song of Reigan's was pretty bad.

No. 1 Hits next week. How ironic (in the Morrisette usage) Reigan misses that. I hope it's better than this week.